


Black Hat's Past Lovers

by Lotrepiphany



Series: Black Hat's Past Lovers [1]
Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Love, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 05:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16633955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotrepiphany/pseuds/Lotrepiphany
Summary: Black Hat explains his past lovers to cambot, who records it to share it with all of you. Black Hat explains their meeting and what broke them apart.





	1. Black Hat's Past Lovers: Hazel

Black Hat sits down in his chair. His desk is empty, save for his prized red skull. “You have all been asking and asking, BEGGING for me to tell you. So fine. I’ll tell you imbeciles about my past love life.” he huffs and folds his arms, seeming like he wanted to be elsewhere. He rolled his eye and continued, “My first love was a Sahterrian named Hazel. Well, that’s what name I gave her. She was very… peculiar. She didn’t want to tell me anything about her, and she didn’t want me to tell her anything about me. Her outlook on life was extraordinary and complex. It’s hard to explain, so I will let you figure it out yourself. I met her on her homeplanet, Sahterra. Not many…” He pauses, looking for the right word. “People, let’s call them. Not many people lived there, as it was very barren and near uninhabitable. The planet was large, hot, and full of desert. The air was thick and humid, but lacked water vapor. There were very few water sources on this planet, and those that did exist were contaminated with sand, making it undrinkable. The sand was red, the sky was red, everything was red. It stained the skin and fur of anyone living there, masking everything in deep red. The winds were strong and aggressive, and the planet was prone to horrible natural disasters.

The inhabitants, Sahterrians, were split into two groups. The incredibly wealthy and the incredibly poor. The wealthy lived in ships, and came and go as they pleased. Nobody had houses or permanent structures like we do, for it was too difficult to build and manage. Nobody stayed there for very long anyway, so trying to build there was a waste of time. The wealthy lived in home ships, and traveled in work ships. Food and water had to be imported from other planets, since Sahterra was too unstable to support anything. The wealthy only continued living there to show status and strength.

The poor lived in villages made of scrap ship parts, abandoned ships, unusable ships, and malfunctioning ships. They didn’t have any way of leaving, and were very sickly from the constant sand flooding their lungs and the lack of resources. The land was impossible to farm and the water was impossible to drink. They had no way of living on their own.

The wealthy there, some were generous. They would donate food they didn’t need, want, that had spoiled, or they’d have crates of food to be purchased and delivered if they were especially kind. Some villages were favored more than others, due to the social hierarchy developed in the past. It just became traditional to favor them.

But some of the wealthy were cruel. They felt like the poor hadn’t worked hard enough to deserve it. They would follow transport ships and destroy them or steal from them to prevent resources from reaching villages. They would raid villages and steal what they felt the lower class didn’t deserve. They couldn’t fight back, so families would just stand back as their pitiful home ships were destroyed.

Hazel was born and raised on the planet, in a favored poor village. That is the only real information I know about her, due to her appearance. Everything else about her is unknown.

I met her over 100,000 years ago. I was still powerful, but not as powerful as I am now. My powers were still maturing, as I was unable to teleport myself long distances and I had some… difficulty keeping a solid form. My body was very bulbous and misshapen. I wore a cloak to hide it, though it didn’t prevent the spikes on my back from tearing through the fabric. I had horns, four of them. Two smaller ones going out horizontally, and two going up vertically before curving in slightly. the rest of my body was constantly shifting and mutating, never staying solid. I had to use a ship in order to travel, just like everyone else.

I was on Sahterra for business. One of the wealthy Sahterrians was building a machine in order to wipe out the poor half of the planet. My mission was to assassinate him and steal the machine. I didn’t do it out of care about the people, I wanted the machine. That glorious machine would have the capability to disintegrate half a planet! It was perfect. I planned for months, and finally was strong enough to go for it.” black hat smirks at cambot, who has been eagerly recording him. “I don’t need to tell you how i got in,” he flirts, “but I was in. I was deep into the ship, searching for the living quarters.

I scaled across the ceiling, gripping the details of the structure. I had become close, I could smell a Sahterrian. I grew excited and lost my footing. My claws slipped, scratching the wall and generating a piercing screech; similar to nails on chalkboard. I froze. Everything was quiet. I felt anxious, and my body gurgled and pulsated underneath the cloak. The smell of a Sahterrian grew closer, making my body panic and spasm further. As the smell grew, I looked for them frantically. I knew they were here, but I couldn’t see them.

Something shot forward and grabbed my throat. I struggled, lost my balance, and fell onto the floor with a loud thud. I was pulled across the floor by an odd device, and I knew it was being controlled by the Sahterrian. Struggling to escape, I was thrown and pinned by the wrists, and my face was shoved into the wall.

“State your function.” She said.

“She? I was hunting a male. Who was this?” I thought to myself.

“That's none of your concern!” I growled back, my voice oozing into her skull.

She stayed quiet for a moment. Most likely in awe at how amazing I am, I don’t know. I didn’t care.

“State your function, now. Or I will kill you where you stand.” She said.

“Oh, dear. I’m simply trembling in fear.” I respond. “But if you must know, I'm an assassin. Like you, I assume.”

She tightens the grip of the device on my throat. “Sorry to say, but I am still going to have to kill you.” Her voice was a hushed whisper, but was still full of authority and strength. She was obviously a very experienced and confident assassin.

“I doubt you could manage that.” I throw myself at her, pinning her to the opposite wall with my back. “I happen to be immortal. So good luck with that.”

She struggled underneath me, glorious and amazing me, before pushing me off. I ripped the device from my throat and crushed it without looking at it, more focused on looking at her. She was still young, much to my surprise. She was thin, like the poor, but strong like the rich. She must have come from a favored village.

She stood on two cat-like, thin legs. Her body frame was elegant and bold, with few curves. She wore a black skirt that was long in the back, and a dark brown sleeveless half shirt. Her short purple fur was stained red from the sand, and her claws were dirty and dull. Her half-lidded hazel eyes had thin pupils, and her horns stood high and intact. A tuft of fur sat between her gray horns, stained red too, as her body was. Her tail was rat-like, with a tuft of fur at the end.

But what stood out most were her eyes. They were a beautiful and vibrant. Full of life and lust for adventure. Most Sahterrians of her status had given up hope of being significant. They are taught at a young age that they are meaningless. That they are too destitute to have worth. They are trained to think that they need someone else taking care of them to be whole. Individuality is dead.

But she had a purpose, and she knew it. She was destined to do what she does, and she was damn good at it. Her eyes beamed with tenacity.

But let’s not forget the situation at hand.

I had been… distracted. She took the opportunity and pushed me back into the wall. We wrestled for a few minutes, trying to beat one another for authority to kill our mutual target,  before we heard an audible click. We both froze, and she looked up. I followed her lead, and everything went black.

I woke up to a loud bang. Looking over, she was flying through the air and landed perfectly on her feet. We had been locked in separate floating prison cell pods, and she had just escaped.

“Get me out!” I yelled at her.

“No. I am going to do my job. You can free yourself.” She responded flatly, heading towards a near hallway.

“I wasn’t asking, I was ordering! Free me now!” I screeched, scraping my claws against the inside of the pod.

She stared at me. A cold, hard glare. “No. This is a personal mission. I must eliminate him before he wipes out half the planet. The weapon will be destroyed after he is dead.”

I didn’t like this. I needed that weapon. I thrashed about in the pod, trying to break through. She turned and left, disappearing from my vision.

An hour passed, and I still was trapped. How she got free, I haven’t a clue.

She appeared through the hall, clearly pleased. She had accomplished her mission.

“Still trapped, mister almighty immortal?” she mocked. She MOCKED! How DARE she! I was about to counteract, but the pod suddenly burst, dropping me to the floor. She had made her way to the control panel and freed me.

Leaning against the panel, she watched in amusement as I stood and fixed my cloak, trying to recompose myself. “Took you long enough.” I mumbled.

Her only response was a smirk. I was furious.

Walking forward, she pushed a card at me. “My services. If you ever need someone to disappear, let me know.”

The card didn’t have much information. Just a contact number and a picture.

“Do you have a name?” I ask.

“That is unimportant.”

And with that, she was gone. I stood for a moment, unsure of what to do. The machine was destroyed and the builder was dead. I had no purpose being here, so I left as well.

I boarded my ship and left the planet.

A time later, possibly a year, I had to go back to Sahterra. I had business there again, and this time I was successful with my mission. But as I was trying to leave, I was rendered stranded due to a rare natural phenomena.” Cambot leans in, being invested in the story. Black Hat shoves him away, showing irritation. “To put it simply, the core of the planet overheats and magma forms at a drastic rate at the same time the tectonic plates go through a massive shift, causing volcano quakes. I think you dullards can use context to figure out what that means.

The ground had begun shaking violently, and I was unable to walk steadily to my ship. The tremors had thrown me to the ground, and the sand burned my eyes. I lied there in pain, trying to rub the sand from my face, when I heard an ear-splitting crack. The ground was opening up, and sand was rushing forward to fill the hole. Smoke billowed out of the opening, and I ran.

Volcano quakes don’t stop at just one. No, there are multiple quakes at once. It can destroy miles and miles of land, and it takes hundreds of years to recover.

I ran for as fast and as long as I could. Lava was inching closer from all directions and the sky was black as night. The sand and ash choked me and blinded me. Bodies of the inhabitants who had been killed lied all around me, making escape even more difficult.

I may have been powerful and immortal, but I was still able to feel pain. And let me tell you, burning in lava while sand and ash choke you isn’t the most pleasant feeling.

After some time, I was unable to continue running. Needing a rest, I looked for a safe place to camp for the night. A small abandoned ship could be seen in the distance, so I went to it.

After entering, I noticed a body on the floor.

It was her.

I go up to her and feel for a pulse. She was still alive, barely. I leave her there, heading to the second floor of the small ship.

The controls were odd and confusing, I had no way of understanding them. I hadn’t learned to read the Sahterrian language yet, though I can read it now.

I didn’t know how to pilot this ship, if it could even function in the first place, so I stayed there and waited. I watched what was happening outside, and the volcano quakes had seemed to stop forming. Lava still shot out from them, slowly creeping closer to the ship.

But the ship was safe on top of a large sand hill. I stayed there for another few hours, waiting for it to stop.

The destruction seemed to be finished, so I started heading down to the floor level to leave.

I was wrong. So, so wrong.

An aftershock threw the ship forward. It was falling off the hill, and could crash and become damaged. I’d have no way off this planet, and nowhere to hide.

As I tried to escape, again, I passed by her lifeless form. I felt bad for her, so I grabbed her shoulders to wake her.

“Wake up! Wake up now!” I yelled.

“Wh- huh? What is happening? Why are you here?” She asked, seeming confused.

“Volcano quakes. An aftershock just hit, we need to leave now.” I said. The ship lurched forward again, and I scrambled to escape, leaving her behind.

I got to the entrance to find the winds outside were stronger than usual, a sandstorm had swept through. “Goddamnit!” I thought, “I can’t see!”

Having no choice, I turned back to the interior of the ship. She wasn’t there, so I rushed to the upper level to try to figure out the controls.

She stood there, pounding away at them. “Hold on.” she commanded.

I was about to question her when the ship fell hard, falling down the side of the hill at a dangerous rate. Sirens screamed and lights flashed, alerting us to the danger we already knew. I crashed into the wall and she almost hit the viewport.

She frantically worked the controls, and the ship began to rumble and come to life. It shot forward, tearing down the hill and jerked back right before crashing into the ground. The ship hoovered there, shakily rising up higher and higher before stopping a few feet above the tallest hill.

Now we were safe.

The ship was unstable, but worked. She stepped away, falling to her knees in exhaustion. I sat next to her, and we were in silence.

“How did you get here?” I asked.

“I walked.” She responded.

I glared at her before giving up. It wasn’t worth it.

“Night will come soon. Do you need food? There should be a few barrels of food in the storage room.” She stood, looking at me for a response.

“No. I’m fine.” I said, not looking at her.

She leaves silently, and returns moments later with a basket of food for herself and some blankets.

She lays out two and sits down on one. She begins eating.

I watch her, but she doesn’t seem to care. She finishes and turns to me.

She quietly stares, as if to mock me for staring at her.

“What is your name?” I ask.

“What do you want it to be?”

I am confused. “What? Just tell me your name. I don’t have time for this.”

“Last time I checked, we are stranded on a floating ship. You have time. What is my name? Who am I?”

I decided to give in. “You are a Sahterrian assassin. Your name…” I look her over, looking for something significant to call her.

“Your name is Hazel. For your eyes.”

She nods. “I am Hazel, a Sahterrian assassin. You are Umbra, a king from a planet unknown. You are here to find ways to enforce your commands on your people, since they have started to fall from your grasp. Your powers are almighty, but they have lost fear. You are in search for new ways to gain back their loyalty, drawing you here, to the planet Sahterra. You come here to gain high status, just like everyone else has come for. Once you prove yourself, your slaves will respect you once again.”

I was baffled. I was at a loss of words, simply nodding in response. “I am Umbra, king of a planet unknown.”

She seemed content with herself and lied down on her blanket. I assumed the second was mine, and lied next to her.

I wanted to question her, but I was too in awe to ask. Luckily, she gave me an answer without question.

“My life story means nothing to you. I am just a pawn in the game of life, and so are you. Nobody asks how you are because they want to know about you. They ask about you so they can tell you about themself. Our real stories are insignificant. You have to make your own. Build your own life story and shape it how you want it to be.”

She paused, turning to face me. “You have met a girl on a foreign planet. What is her name? What is her story? What is she to you? How does it affect you? Why is she special?

That is for you to decide. I am just a new character in the story of your life. Who I am is yours to answer. You are the writer. Tell me who I am.”

I am quiet for a moment. I wasn’t sure what to make of this situation,  I hadn’t thought of this before.

“You are Hazel. You are a Sahterrian from Sahterra. You were born in a favored village near a rich city. You-”

She cut me off. “No, no, no. Realism is so boring. Try again. Be creative.”

I start to get frustrated, what did she want from me?!

“Fine then. You are Hazel, A Sahterrian hybrid. The other half is unknown, because your mother was a slutty bitch. You have seven siblings, all hybrids as well. Your oldest sibling died at the hands of another being, and you made it your life mission to get revenge. You became an assassin in hopes of finding the murderer and destroying them. How’s that?”

She nods. “So be it.”

“What? You’re just going to take that? I insulted you!”

“Actually, you insulted my mother.”

I was enraged. “Fuck you! Fuck all of this! I’m leaving.”

“Okay.”

Why wasn’t she offended? Why wasn’t she responding to any of this? Why wasn’t she mad?

I went to the controls, suddenly remembering I have no idea how to fly this ship. I pressed a button, but a lock flashed on the screen. She had locked the controls. I couldn’t do anything.

I sat back down on the blanket with a huff.

“Back so soon, your majesty?”

“SHUT UP, SLUT BABY!” I yelled, laying down on my side facing away from her. I could hear her snickering, tantalizing me.

At this point, I didn’t like her. But we continued talking through the night, and I warmed up to her. She was much more pleasant to talk to than I originally thought. Once morning came, she settled the ship down on land that hadn’t been destroyed by the volcano quakes.

She asked if my ship was destroyed in the disaster, and I said yes.

She offered one of her own ships. She had a few that had never been used, and she would teach me how to use the controls. I eagerly agreed, and I was to meet her at her home ship in a weeks time. She gave me the coordinates of her home ship and left.

I had no home for that week, so I wandered the planet, exploring the social construct. Their lives are brutal. How they manage to live there for generations, I’ll never know.

Anyway, I met her at her home ship a week later around midday. She invited me in, and we looked at some of her work ships. I picked one I fancied, and she showed me how to pilot it.

They were surprisingly easy to maneuver.

Now I… _may_ have flirted with her a bit afterwards, leading to a… well, a date, but that isn’t important.” He adjusted his tie, seeming uncomfortable.

“Not much happened on the date. Well…” Black Hat looks down, getting even more uncomfortable. “Nevermind what we did. Nothing happened. NOTHING.

After a few weeks, we were officially a couple. I do not wish to give much detail of our dating life, but we were cozy. Sure she was a smartass, but she had a good sense of humor. She was nice to look at, and I had a tendency to get distracted and stare at her. One of the many flaws of love; it’s a distraction.

After several years, we lived together on Sahterra on her home ship. She would disappear for days without a warning. I didn’t mind, I knew where she was. She had a job to do.

She helped me mold a more solid form, and I copied her thin stature. I liked the design, and thought she’d like it, too. I hadn’t known there was a difference between the feminine and masculine body… and she never quite let me live that down.

She taught me their writing, some history, and more. I taught her foreign tongues when she has a job on an unfamiliar planet.

We were strong, and we thrived together.

One day she received a job from another Sahterrian. It was a job that no other assassin had accomplished, and the reward was a monstrous amount of wealth, and even power in the social hierarchy. Being treated as an equal to the wealthy was a great honor, and she accepted the job.

She prepared for months. She trained, gathered weapons, and trained some more.

Soon, she left. She gave the estimate of two months before she’d be back.

Two months later, she was still gone.

I didn’t think much of it, I believe in her. She has gone over her estimate before. So I continued waiting.

Another month passed. Then another. Soon, a year. I became worried.

I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t feel confident in her, so i waited longer.  After another year, I went looking for her.

I knew the solar system her job was located at. I searched every planet, and every solar system around that. I searched that whole galaxy for her.

Her lack of a name made locating her difficult. Sahterrians weren’t common, so her appearance would be recognizable. But because of her job, she hid her body and face. Again, making it harder to find her.

I searched for thirty years. After that point, she had to be dead. Saherrians have a lifespan of about sixty years, and she was in her late twenties when she left.

I’ve never seen her since. I had traveled back to Sahterra a few times after that, but it was hopeless. I gave up and moved on.

She was gone forever.


	2. Black Hat's Past Lovers: Zharduu

“Now, Zharduu wasn’t their name. The only name I’ve given so far that was their real name is 426-AHQ. But that story comes later.

Zharduu, their name doesn’t exist in any human language. Uttering their real name would cause destruction and insanity to whoever heard. I chose to refer to them as Zharduu because it generates a sound in this language similar to the sound of their real name.

I was searching the galaxy, looking for a relief. Certain types of eldritches go into a sort of… breeding season, if you will. That’s not exactly what it was, but let’s just call it that, for now. I was on edge and needed to expel some energy.”

Cambot shifted slightly, curious but growing sheepish.

“The only problem was that I’ve never met another eldritch, as we aren’t particularly common. I didn’t know where to look or what to look for.

I decided to search on weaker planets, planets an eldritch would hide on or try to destroy.

While on a rocky planet, I started to smell something near. It was intoxicating, and I couldn’t stop myself from investigating. It was as if I lost control of my body and my mind.

My body lost all physical form I’ve worked to maintain, and I reverted back into my original eldritch physique. My body was a grotesque mass of moist tentacles and festering flesh, wriggling and coiling around itself, mutating at a constant rate.

I soon found them. A gurgling, veiny mess. Their body glitched and squirmed, nothing stayed as one state of matter for long. The movement was hypnotic, and their body emitted a low static hum that writhed in my mind. They seemed to sense me there as well, and had also been affected by the breeding season. We mated immediately, rough and animalistic.”

Cambot jumped and let out a few clicks, getting flustered fast. They ducked down, hiding in embarrassment.

“CALM DOWN YOU FOOL! Ugh…” Black Hat sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

After a moment, Cambot shivered and stood up again, focusing the camera.

“Are you done?” Black Hat asked, annoyed.

Cambot nodded shyly and gave a small thumbs up.

“Good. The mating lasted for days, and once we finished we left the planet. We decided to work together, as partners, to take over planets.

We were more powerful than we could have imagined. Mortals and immortals alike trembled at the sight of us. Some even died.

We would sometimes linger out in space, talking for days. Neither needed sleep or food, so we had no reason to stop.

We would talk about the meaning of existence, the beginning of life, the consequences of mortality and immortality, and other subjects you couldn’t comprehend.

They were intelligent, and so was I. They made me feel good and confident. They made me proud to be an eldritch. We believed we were a perfect match, that we were one in the same.

Our only problem? We weren’t. We were too different.

They were playful, they were unfocused, they were hyper. they couldn’t do anything I wanted to do.

I was serious, I was focused, I was impatient. They agitated me to no end.

They would play CONSTANTLY. They would create air bubbles around rocks with lots of holes and blow winds to make music, they would play in solar flares, they would throw themself into gas planets to feel a sort of high, they would play on water planets and they would play with primal living creatures they found.

It was _so_ annoying. When I’d go to take over a planet, They’d defend it if there was something there they liked.

I tried to show them the fun of chaos. I’d destroy a planet for them, but they would play in the rubble. I’d take over a planet for them, but they wouldn’t kill or direct the inhabitants. They’d play with them.

I asked them, “Why do you play? We used to work together, to rule together. Why do you not wish for that any longer?”

They would answer, their voice pulsating through my mind, “Because I don’t want to rule. It makes me unhappy.”

Then they would go continue to play.

How could someone be so CHILDISH?

We started to fight as time went on. I wanted to destroy and rule, they wanted to play and love. We were incompatible.

Our differences tore us apart. We couldn’t stand to be around eachother, it hurt to see the other so unhappy. We cared deeply for eachother, but staying together was toxic.

We agreed to part ways. They would be on their own again, and so would I. We left on a light note, agreeing to still be allies if we were to meet again in the future.

We never did, but that’s okay.


	3. Black Hat's Past Lovers: Harry

“My next love was in the late 700s.

His name was…” He paused for a moment. “Heraclius. Yes, Heraclius.”

He was a human, and before him I didn’t care to learn human names. They all sounded the same to me. Iulius, Helias, Nilus, Cyrus, What’s the difference? They all end the same way! The male names all sounded the same and so did the females! Their names were all the fucking same!

When I met Heraclius, I couldn’t remember his name. It sounded like every other name to me. He told me to try calling him Herri, a nickname given to him by family. So I did, and that’s what I knew him as.

For simplicity, I’ll call him Harry, a modern day name that sounds similar. God forbid one of you morons get confused.

Now that I’ve given some background, I’ll start the main story.”

“I was in Rome, and my form was similar to mine now. I wore different clothes and I had a more human-like appearance, but overall it was the same. I disguised myself as a citizen and roamed the streets and shops, trying to learn about their society.

I had been on Earth for a time, but I didn’t care to learn about the inhabitants until then.

I grew bored one day, and decided to try attending the theatre. Entertainment was a part of their culture, and I decided I’d learn about that, too.

They were performing a play. Which, I don’t know. I didn’t really care.

Harry was an actor playing a side lead. He seemed to move more enthusiastically than the others; he seemed to move with a hint of lunacy.

I was attracted to it, I wanted to learn more about him.  

After the show I found him and talked to him. That’s when I first learned his name.

We talked for hours, receiving odd looks from those who passed. He said he liked the way I acted. How I didn’t abide by the rules and norms. He said I almost acted inhuman.

We parted ways, and I stalked him in the shadows. I found where he lived and who he lived with. I couldn’t tell his age, but he did not attend schooling so he must have been an adult of some kind.

We “coincidentally” bumped into each other often. We would talk for a short time before departing again. He would express how he felt different than everyone. He didn’t want to follow the set norms, but when he tries to act outside the norms he was shamed. He felt out of place; he felt wrong.

Once I knew he was ready, I confessed to him that I wasn’t human, that I was here from another place, and he viewed me as a god.

We proposed a mutual benefit. Harry taught me all he knew about the norms, human needs, how the bodies worked, and more. In return, I taught him demonic arts.

It may seem like an odd exchange, and it was. He wanted something to make him feel like he belonged, that he wasn’t as strange as the others said he was. I promised him that the teachings would help him feel right. He would be able to embrace the insanity hidden away deep within him, and he could manipulate it how he pleased.

We enjoyed each other’s teachings, and started meeting more outside of lessons. He admired my assertiveness and domineering presence, and I admired his deviance.

This mutual benefit turned to mutual feelings. We grew intimate, becoming partners. I knew it wouldn’t last; he was mortal. But it was entertaining, and we got along well.

Harry started going more unstable over time. In the timespan of three years his deviance became very apparent to others. It was tossed aside, since his family had had wealth and didn’t believe the rumors. They defended him as their innocent, confused son. He was safe for now.

But the tension made him nervous. It made him question himself. Here he was, a mortal, a human, dating a god? He didn’t feel deserving.

He learned much from me about the dark arts and became very powerful. He wanted to put it to use in order to impress me.

And he succeeded.”


	4. Black Hat's Past Lovers: 426-AHQ

Harry worked to summon a being from the underworld.

It was his first try, but he had been studying for years. He was confident in his abilities, so he tried something more complex.

He summoned a beast.

It wasn’t the one he wanted. He performed the ritual incorrectly.

He panicked. He was ashamed of himself. He fled, running to throw himself into the sea. I chased him and caught him, grabbing him by the torso and pulled him back.

I was still impressed with him, nonetheless, and I had never seen this beast before. It was completely unknown to me.

Harry summoned a beast I didn’t know. _And it was by accident!_

I reassured him as I brought him back, making sure he knew that I was still proud of him. It took some time, but he was convinced.

The beast told us its name. 426-AHQ.

It’s voice was deep and metallic, ringing in our ears. It carved into our minds, digging into our thoughts. It blurred my vision and blurred my mind. Harry’s ears bled and he fell to his knees and shook.

I found it fascinating, but Harry didn’t feel the same. It caused him pain, and he wanted it to stop.

The beast was twice our size. It was grey, and had a large bulk to its chest. Their head floated, but lacked a face. The legs and arms floated as well with a lesser bulk, giving off a magnetic pulse. Being near it caused static to fog the mind.

We weren’t sure what to do with the beast; if the people saw it they would run in fear. They would surely exile or even kill Harry for bringing this thing into their world.

We decided to leave the city on our own. We went to the mountains and made a home for ourselves. The three of us lived in peace, away from civilization. We were free from laws and social rules, and made our own.

426-AHQ and I worked together away from Harry to teach him to speak without causing him pain. They learned quickly; it only took them a year.

He soon showed interest in Harry. He liked him for the same reasons I did.

Harry wasn’t sure how to respond at first. He was confused.

But he came to a solution.

The three of us could form a relationship. There was not a word for it then, but we were polyamorous.

I had trouble returning feeling to the beast, but they seemed to grow to me immediately. I allowed them to show affections for me and allowed them to make advances, though I struggled to return them.

It took time, about a decade, but I warmed up to them. I returned the feelings, but not to the same extent as them.

The three of us were together and we were pleased.

As the years went on, Harry lost his mind more and more. It could have been due to being insane from birth, or it could have been due to our constant presence. Maybe both.

He acted more demonic than human. His body was jerk and convulse, and he’d go into outbursts of crazed laughter. He’d occasionally have fits where he acted like a rabid dog, foaming at the mouth and collapsing onto the floor with seizure-like actions.

426-AHQ and I, we didn’t mind. His demented mind was admirable. The fits were concerning, but we didn’t think much of it as we had no way to help.

Harry was, for lack of a better word, completely insane. He made Dementia look almost normal.

One day we went to check on him, since he hasn’t gotten up for his breakfast. But he was gone.

We went to the city and found him harassing the citizens, causing destruction, and, well… going insane.

We were unable to intervene, as it would make the situation worse for him and us. The people had grabbed him and started dragging him away.

He was taken to an old building away from the city. He was locked in and left there, never to leave.

I have since visited the ruins of that building, and I can hear screams of the dead echoing off the walls. The building was used to lock up the unstable, similar to modern day mental asylums.

I can pick out his voice, and I have listened to him. He sounds like he was beaten and tortured. His voice was weak and strained, as if in pain. I do not know what caused his death, but that could have been a part of it.”

Cambot sunk down, sad about his misfortune.

“Oh get over it, you piece of junk, humans die. Do you want me to continue or not?”

Cambot straightened out, giving an eager nod.  

“I was left with the beast, which we didn’t mind. We still liked each other.

We lived together another few hundred years, and we formed a strong bond. We were inseparable.

But… things started changing. 426-AHQ started getting restless. They were constantly moving, jittering, and unsettled.”

Black hat paused and took a deep breath. He seemed like he didn’t want to talk about this and like he wanted to leave. He stared at the floor for a moment, an odd look in his eye. Cambot almost thought it appeared to be a mix of hatred and… dread?

“They grew aggressive. It started out small, but I figured it would pass. They would latch onto me and scream, a piercing metallic screech.

I’d push them off, and they’d lie for a moment before going back to normal.

Soon it became worse.

They’d grab me and thrash around. They’d sink their claws into my body and they’d push me down and hold me there.

I tried to tell myself that it would be over soon, that this will all pass, that maybe they were sick. But soon I’d had enough. I started fighting back.

We would fight each other for hours. Each fight was worse than the last. It became an impossible fight to the death between two immortals, and neither of us could win. We would leave the fights torn, bruised, and missing chunks of our bodies.

I’d lost and regenerated near every part of my body almost every day, and so did they.

The fighting was very obviously driving us apart, but they refused to leave. I proposed a break up, but they said no. I proposed anything, but they said no.

I tried to flee. I went to the opposite side of the planet, but they found me and we fought. I went under the sea, but they found me and we fought.

I left the solar system. I went far beyond, but they STILL found me. And we fought.

I slipped into another galaxy. Surely they couldn’t find me then.

But they did.

They found me on a rocky planet, deep in a wet cave. I was alone only three days before they caught up to me.

Again, we fought. But they fought differently this time. They had an odd need to pin me to the ground instead of actually harming me.

If that’s all they wanted to do, I thought so be it.

I let them pin me down. I stayed still.

That was the biggest regret of my life.

An odd tentacle burst from their chest. It seemed to be studying me, looking for something.

I stared back, perplexed. It swayed from side to side, a hypnotic motion. I couldn’t look away, I couldn’t move.

The tentacle shot forward, digging itself into my chest. I yelled out in pain, god it hurt.

It hurt, it hurt, it hurt.

It was burrowed deep into my chest, squirming and carving itself deeper in.

It seemed to latch onto something and it jerked. The pain was so extreme it blurred my vision, but I stayed conscious the best I could.

It jolted back, pulling something from me. An emptiness washed over me, and my vision went black.

I was out for… I don’t know how long. It was the most intense, torturous pain I’ve ever felt.

When I woke, I felt nothing. No pain. No emotion.

I was an empty husk.

The beast stood over me and cackled. A low, echoing tone that scratched my mind. But it didn’t hurt.

They revealed everything to me. They were a beast created for the sole purpose of stealing the hearts of other abominations.

They used Harry to get to me. They never cared for either of us. They were the reason Harry went back to the city, they convinced him to go back. They told him he’d be welcomed with open arms, and that they were waiting for him. They purposely got close to him and got him killed just to get to me.

The past few hundred years were a lie.

Their plan and purpose, since the day they were summoned, was to steal my heart.

They tried to convince me that Harry knew all along. They tried to make me hate him, they tried to make me curse his name.

I wanted to forgive Harry. I didn’t blame him.

But I couldn’t. I couldn’t feel forgiveness. I felt nothing. I still feel nothing.

That bastard _STOLE MY FUCKING HEART!_

I was… angry. I can feel anger. Was it anger? I don’t know. Anger doesn’t come from the heart. It’s from the mind. Anger is corrupting. And I had no choice but to give in to it.

I wanted to attack, but I couldn’t. I was too weak.

He opened his chest to show the hearts. There were hundreds of them. All pulsing and wriggling in an unnatural fashion. They were from others… others like me.

They were fused together as a deformed pulsating mass, but one sat out among the rest. It hadn’t fused into the group yet.

It was mine.

I lunged forward, but I was still sickly and weak. They brushed me aside and I fell to the floor. I was pathetic.

They laughed at me. I wanted them dead.

They told me they stole the hearts of abominations to gain power, and gloated that mine was delicious.

I told them to go fuck themself.

They glared at me. They decided they’d had enough of me and snapped their fingers, and I blacked out again.

I woke up back on Earth, on the spot we first met.

I never saw them again.

I never wanted to.”


End file.
